Finding Me

I'm on a long journey....I have no idea when it ends. I know when it started....The day I decided to have weight loss surgery. That was over 4 years ago. If you told me then, that I would lose over 240lbs, I wouldn't have believed you. Trapped is who I was - curious is who I am now. I'm doing all the things I said I would never do - Get a tattoo, have gastric bypass, have skin removal, zip lining with my Kids. Next is Kayaking then kayaking fishing sounds fun! Life has opened up and I am overwhelmed by the possibilities and regret of all the things I've missed. I'm working on engaging my potential. Today I posted my stomach on instagram with my updated "results" from my lower body lift. I am uncomfortable to say the least about judgements and my own self doubt, shame, and internal criticisms. I move from - body empowerment and positivity to "my stretch marks are still there", now I have scars - "can you see them?" - to "my arms make me look like i'm 70" and my legs are all skin too.